scared the shit out of me every time
my dad wants this to be played at the beginning of his funeral
reblogging again just for that omg
- i find it pretty fucking inconsiderate that my grandchildren haven’t used time travel to visit me.
- and frankly, i’m a bit offended.
- AM I NOT GOOD ENOUGH FOR YOU GRANDCHILDREN?
- WELL FUCK YOU
- MAYBE I WON’T EVEN HAVE KIDS AND YOU WON’T EXIST
- HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT THAT
what if we have tho
what if we just didn’t know they were our grandkids
what if your best friend has to constantly remind themselves not to call you grandma/grandpa
but its important
IM SORRY BUT IM DYING THEY LOOK LIKE A BOY BAND
I couldn’t help it. Phrases make the best song titles.
(Also 100% shipping Tulip with Cactus. I don’t even know why, I must.)
This vodka looks like a fucking galaxy bye.VINIQ SHIMMERY LIQUEUR.
Please stop asking me.
This is the greatest tweet in the history of tweets
There is a man dressed as captain jack sparrow walking around the train stationI wasn’t joking
The worst pirate I’ve ever heard of, catching public transport.
Ah, but you have heard of him
WHAT KIND OF COURT IS THIS
I’m just still in awe that they have chairs small enough to accommodate bees
bee movie is art
u know someone is having a rough day when their favorite song plays and they don’t sing along
THIS IS NOT NEWS
I don’t know what people expect Egyptians to be. I guess watching The 10 Commandments on ABC growing up got folks thinking they all looked like bronzed white people.
BREAKING NEWS: BLACK PEOPLE ARE BLACK. THIS IS AN AMAZING DISCOVERY. BLACK PEOPLE EXISTED BEFORE WE DISCOVERED THEM AND ENSLAVED THEM AND FUCKED UP THEIR LAND. WOW.
Africans in Africa? Mind blown.
But Hollywood movies tho
I need feminism because I’m still charged 5% tax on sanitary products because they’re classed as ‘non-essential’ by the government.
What the motherfuck.
Solve this by bleeding on everything they love.
*AGGRESSIVELY PROJECTILE BLEEDING AT POLITICIANS* ARE YOU FEELING IT NOW, MR. POLITICIAN?